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Tailem Bend Issues Rampaging Bull Warning!

Tailem Bend residents have been put on high alert as the local council issued a “Code Red/Blue/Yellow”, the official warning for an influx of rampaging Bulls.

The warning was issued as the Supercars Championship descends on The Bend Motorsport Park this weekend, where a pair of in-form Bulls named SVG & JDub are expected to run riot following a spate of silverware thefts in Tasmania.

Although still on the run, we managed to seek comment from both Bulls, who had a stark warning for local residents.

“We’re feeling good. We love going to the Bend,” said Jamie ‘JDub’ Whincup, AKA ‘Bull #88.’

“The Bend is the first brand new circuit in Australia in 19 years so to go to a $120million-plus facility is something that we are always excited about.

“Our results there in the past have been up and down. We have had some really good results there and we have had some ordinary ones as well. We need to be on our A-game this weekend to make sure that we are on the good side of the grid when we roll out.

“We are all looking forward to getting down there, but there is a bit of wet weather planned at some stage over the weekend so that always spices things up, but we will take it as it comes.”

Shane ‘SVG’ van Gisbergen, AKA ‘Bull #97,’ is notoriously hard to catch (pardon the pun), both on track and for official comment. However, our reporters managed to obtain word from the speedy Kiwi.

“We’re all set and ready to go for Tailem Bend, and I’m really looking forward to it,” he said.

“It’s a proper driver’s track, and qualifying is so important, so that will be our main emphasis this weekend.

“We did really well there as a team when we first raced there in 2018, but we struggled at times last year, so hopefully we can build on our momentum so far and get a couple of good results.”

Well, there you go Tailem Bend. Please take this as your official warning. See you at The Bend if you dare…