Your burning questions for 2015 answered

  • What war paint will the 2015 Red Bull Holdens be decked out in?

Now that, friends, is still top secret information. What we can tell you is that there’s some blue, maybe a hint of red and a logo or two to keep things lively. We did send the new guy down the shops to get some tartan paint to spruce things up a bit. He’s yet to return…

  • Can Craig clock a hat-trick and win the opening race of the season at Clipsal three years in a row?

The question isn’t so much ‘can he’, because we all know he can – it’s Lowndesy for heaven’s sake, what can’t he do? It’s more ‘will he’? We know the competition is going to be tighter than David Coulthard’s race suits and fiercer than Beyonce in a wind tunnel, but we’re ready for it.

  • Who is partnering Craig and Jamie for the enduros?

Don’t fix what ain’t broke. That was exactly our mentality when we begged Paul “The CEO” Dumbrell and Steve “Richo” Richards to stay on for another year. Richo was mid-relocation to Fiji with the family where they were opening a cocktail bar called Pit Lane Legends and PD had just instigated Phase 3.8 of his plan for world domination, but apparently RD has some intriguing methods of persuasion.

  • Will Jamie steamroller his way to seven titles or can Lowndesy rekindle his championship flame?

As the boss always says, as long as one of the RBRA cars wins, we’re happy. Yeah, Bathurst 2014 was a bit awkward… Rest assured, we’ll be doing everything we can to finish the season 1-2 again and, as ever, we don’t mind the order. But we of course can’t discount everyone else trying to quench their thirst from the Championship trophy.

  • Can we stop the Volvos blitzing the Pole Position Award?

Volvo jokes have been well and truly put to rest. We’re going to have to seriously raise our game this year if we’re going to hang onto that coveted Pole Position Award (and Christmas party fund) but the engineers have their heads down trying to figure out the perfect qualifying formula. The prospect of an extra few cartons at the end of the year is proving highly motivational.

  • Can Red Bull Racing Australia retain the Enduro Cup for the third year straight?

The Enduro Cup has made a nice little home for itself at RBRA HQ. We know, it told us during one of our all-nighters last week. The unicorns also told us they were getting irritated with the leprechaun pretending to be in charge, but that’s a different story. Anyway, we don’t have a crystal ball, but we’re going to make damn sure those enduro wins don’t get away from us without a fight. Or four.

  • Will Bathurst be as much of a thriller as last year?

A race like that comes around once every few decades, so we’re going to say no, but we, along with the entire racing community, are keeping our fingers crossed for another one for the history books. One thing’s certain though, we’ll be going our hardest to get our hands on the Peter Brock trophy for the first time since 2012.

  • How many times will JDub lose the entire contents of his locker?

Well, if last year’s stats, which include losing a race boot at Clipsal, his sunglasses 204 times and his drink bottle at least once a day, are anything to go by, we’re betting at least once every other event.

  • Will Cappy and JDub make a return to the silver screen? More importantly, what about the genie?

You never know what JDub and Cappy have up their sleeves, but after their workshop tour antics at the end of last year, they’re banned from HQ. And since granting Bernie’s wish, the French genie has been trying to bust out of his Caltex oil can again in hopes of spreading more joy. If he agrees to grant us a Bathurst win this year, we’ll consider letting him out.

  • How many smiley faces will Lowndesy use in his tweets and will he ever use a grumpy face?

We’ve come to the conclusion that the first part of this question would require a complex mathematical equation so we’re going to leave that for you to work out.  The day the second part happens, though, is the moment you need to call the workshop ASAP and notify us that CL’s social media accounts have been hacked.